Boys Will Be Boys
You heard me, boys will be boys.
They are going to fall. A LOT. They are going to play in the dirt. Hell, they may even eat it. They are going to be fascinated by cars and going fast. Farts are going to be the funniest thing in the world. Once they learn the “pull my finger” joke, expect to do it at least a hundred times that day. All because boys will be boys.
What has me fired up for this tangent? A discussion among my mom circle. They were trying to claim that the phrase “Boys will be Boys” is what is fueling the rape culture in society. And you want to know my exact remark? “You have to be fucking kidding me.” Looks like I am not getting an invite to the weekly play date.
The phrase “Boys will be Boys,” is actually a reminder to the parents and not a justification for a child’s actions. Look at Clarke. He is a water baby. Always has been. When he would not stop moving in the womb, the only way I could get him to calm down was to take a shower. He loves baths and there is nothing you can do to keep him out of the pool. Seriously, my 1 year old will just jump in. OH, and if there is a puddle, forget about clean clothes. We all know that Clarke is going to play in that muddy puddle. Then why are we going to get mad at him when he does it? You know, boys will be boys.
Parents have to be reminded to pick their battles and this phrase, that people hate, does just that. It reminds the boy mom who has drug her son out of the mud eight different times, that he is going to be okay. The mud is not going to kill him…washing the mud out of his hair might, but not the mud. You know he is going to be a boy so why lose your sanity over trying to change him?
I was told that it will be different when I have a girl. Which I think is funny. They said the same thing before I had Clarke. That it would be different once I had kids. Not really…I still think the majority of the same things I thought before Clarke. And being a girl myself, I don’t think much is going to change when Pickle gets here either. Instead of saying “Boys will be Boys,” I will be saying “Kids will be Kids.”
And as far as the rape thing. Just as many men are raped as women. They are less likely to report it, but pointing the finger at only boys makes you the idiot. Instead of trying to make the next play date an uncomfortable one, why don’t you teach your children about consent? Why don’t you teach your children about unwanted touch and what to do in those situations? Clarke knows that he does not having to give hugs or kisses to anyone he does not want to give them to. It may not seem like a lot but it will open up the doors for plenty of conversations down the road.
I am going to let my boy be a boy. I am going to let him work on Daddy’s El Camino and giggle hysterically during burn outs. He is allowed to come home with pockets full of rocks and dirt on his face. I am going to let him to what ever makes him happy because I know that he is going to grow up to be the most amazing man this world has ever seen. All because Boys will be Boys.